Grooming techniques in fraud

In the olden days when scammers relied on selling you something, an overpriced double glazing or a miracle product, they were usually easily spotted due to their fake smiles, polished suits and a skill, not unlike that of a python, of being able to squeeze every last penny out of you.  They were ruthless, arrogant, forceful, and it was easier to spot the warning signs of being scammed.  We have all heard scary stories about window salesmen who refused to leave your home hours after they have given you a quote for the new windows and you told them you would like them to leave at least 50 times.  But what people don’t realise is that modern scammers have evolved. They are no longer forceful or arrogant and they often address our needs. Hope of a large investment on your pension savings, hope of finding your one true love, hope of a miracle oil that will help your loved one battle cancer when their oncologist has run out of hope or hope of buying a time share apartment that will bring you nothing less but a secure income in old age. Scammers have become slick, smart, calculated, embracing innovation and using psychology to get the victims to comply.  

For example, research into dating scams found that scammers invest hours upon hours of communication with their victims. Sometimes lasting several months and sometimes very intense communication, which helps to cultivate an interpersonal relationship between a victim and a scammer, which is hard to override.  Frequently they send gifts in the beginning too, making the relationship seem genuine and loving, even to victim’s friends and family. The more the victim communicates with the scammer, the easier it becomes for the scammer to get what they want in the end.  And before the blame is placed on the victims being gullible, let me explain how this exchange might work.  

Fraud victims are often groomed, sometimes for months

As children we were brought up to share, be nice and return favours.  These are simple societal rules that help us nurture relationships we have with others.  When a stranger asks us to give them money out of the blue, we have no problem saying no.  But when a friend asks, especially if they have done us favours in the past, we will feel obliged to help them.  It’s known as reciprocity and it’s ingrained in us. Those that don’t observe this rule are thought of as selfish or uncivilised.  Reciprocity rule is a strong evolutionary tool which helped us survive, form bonds, keep friends… but it is also a powerful tool for a scammer and is a known scam technique. Scammers, and this is especially true of dating scams in which women are victims, often send small presents to their victims, flowers, perfume, small tokens of love. This ensures that somewhere down the line, the victim feels bad about not reciprocating. In dating scams, the usual technique is for scammers to claim to be in different countries as doctors or soldiers. When they eventually ask for money for an operation or the plane ticket or a solicitor or some other worthy cause, the lengthy communication, the attention, the gifts that the victim received will make them feel obliged to help the scammer even if they feel uncomfortable about it. This is because we have been pre programmed to return kindness.

Scammers can groom victims in many ways. For example, some financial scams perpetrated over the phone would use grooming techniques. A scammer would typically call the victim daily and befriend them, even sharing details of their lives (usually mimicking victim’s circumstances, beliefs or likes). This not only fosters trust between a victim and a perpetrator but also makes it difficult for the victim to report the crime once they start to suspect something is wrong, because they feel guilty. This means that the scammer can go on scamming more people in the meantime. Often, scammers will also ask the victim to keep the transaction or a relationship a secret. This also plays into their hands and avoids detection.

It is often difficult to detach yourself once you are involved in a pattern but if you suspect you might be groomed by a scammer, talk to your friends and family about it, ask for help and search online for fraud advice which may make things clearer and make it easier to report fraud.